Day 100-110
10th -20th March 2007, Nigeria	previous entry next entry

Day 100, 10/3. Gateway Hotel, Aboekuta, Nigeria

7°07.99'N 3°20.91'E. Miles today 143, Total Miles 9349

Here's an interesting statistic…US$352 billion has been stolen or misused since the oil came on tap in Nigeria: four times the value of all western aid given to the whole of Africa in the last forty years…and so with this in mind, we crossed into Nigeria. Whoa, we were greeted with sheer poverty, dusty roads and litter everywhere. With no sign of customs or immigration and after a few wrong turns, we were directed to "just go straight" We have now realised that this is the answer every Nigerian gives when asked for directions. They have absolutely no concept of direction, time or distance for that matter. So we continued to "just go straight" with no luck in coming across anything that remotely resembled a customs or an immigration office. However, we were soon to be met by the first of, believe me, MANY police checkpoints. Just a few men hanging around under a tree but with a narrow block of wood in the road made lethal with a number of nasty nails spiked into them, designed to murder all 4 of your tyres in one shot should you not stop. After checking our vaccination documents and thoroughly paging through our passports, they gave us the bad news, "Oh no my friend, you have not got your entry stamp, you must go back to the border." "But where?" we asked. "Oh, you just go straight….." In the end, we were escorted back to the border. I'm sorry but no sniffer dog let alone human being would ever have found this decrepit building. A real shocker tucked away miles from the border. The official on duty was no less asleep and once woken from his slumber, continued with our formalities wearing what can only be described as his pyjamas. He seemed particularly interested in what religion we were and especially as to why I left South Africa in the first place. Not wanting to get into too heated a discussion, I gave a very diplomatic answer and we were ushered over to the customs. No problems there but the rain clouds were forming fast and a massive tropical down pour escorted us back on the road. What a blessing though, as we managed to fly by about 12 checkpoints (no spikes in the road either, as not one policeman fancied getting wet!) Alas, the rain soon let up and the enquires began. Most of them were super friendly, amazed at our journey and when asked if we had anything for them, all we offered was a handshake and they seemed well chuffed with that. We drove into the first town of Abokeuta around rush hour…hmmmm..silly idea. Oh well! On the way out, we spotted a sign for the Gateway Hotel. We had to wait for ages for the manager to finish his dinner before we could ask permission to camp. By now, it was almost dark. He advised us that it wasn't safe, as there is a bit of political unrest at the moment with the elections coming up next month. Great! However, he did give us great deal (60% discount) on a room with air-con, two M-Net channels, a fridge, a bath and carpets. I tried to ignore the peeling paint, missing cupboard doors, cold water and no light fittings. However, it was our whole days budget gone, which meant more corned beef sarnies for dinner.

Day 101, 11/3. Bush camp, 5km along Ilorin bypass, in incomplete fuel station, Nigeria

8°25.43'N 4°27.42'E. Miles today 161, Total Miles 9510

We stayed in our fancy room until housekeeping threw us out and went in search of some money changing. They don't make it easy here in Nigeria. The hotels won't change for you, don't even bother with the banks, there are no ATMs and don't even think about using your credit card! Our only option was to drive to Ibadan in search of some black market Naira, which were advised was outside the mosque. Well, lets just say there are a number of mosques in Ibadan. We asked a very helpful man who jumped on the back of a mobylette and showed us the way. We changed with Roya, who gave us a good rate but also advised us to be aware that Nigerians charge what they like according to who you are. Great. This proved to be true five minutes later on our first purchase of some coke. "Oh, no, sorry but the price has changed." Anyway, we drove north towards the capital of Abuja, as we planned to avoid Lagos and we had agreed to meet Tatjana and Michael there to get our visas for Angola. Very bad roads with corrugation, deep ruts and huge potholes and that's all in the tarmac, together with hundreds of trucks driving exceptionally badly. All in all quite stressful but enlightened by the now very entertaining police checks. You just have to laugh. I found them especially amusing. Some with guns and camouflage and attitude, some just with guns, others just curious and in casual Nigerian attire. Rob was getting pretty good at sussing out the silly ones and just speeding through them. At dusk, we pulled into an abandoned fuel station and slept in the back of the landy, keeping a low profile just quietly munching on tuna sarnies.

Day 102, 12/3. Seraton Hotel 'drivers village', Abuja, Nigeria

9°03.69'N 7°29.06'W. Miles today 280, Total Miles 9790

Up at dawn and more scary roads and silly driving and endless checks. We have several approaches for these checks. Quite often just keep driving. This really annoys them but they are too lazy to chase after you. Or you overwhelm them with greetings, handshaking etc, which leaves them a bit dumbstruck and they wave you on. Quite a fun game actually. I so want to video one but just it's just not worth the risk of getting caught. Arrived in Abuja early afternoon. Rumour has it that you can camp for free in the carpark of the famous Sheraton Hotel. Sat down in the bar and ordered two cokes, which by the way added up to one thirds of our days budget but hey, we got ice, lemon and peanuts! Before we enquired about this camping malarky, we realised that a quick trip to the powder room was needed as my whole face was black from exhaust fumes and Rob was looking pretty grimy too. They were delighted to let us camp and from then on we known as "the tourists" in this luxury business haven. Our camping quarters were a little grim but we could use the pool and the loos and showers in the squash courts. Wandered over the road to Mr Biggs for Nigerian spicy chicken and jolloff, cold cokes and a dose of politics on the telly Yum scrum!

Day 103, 13/3. Sheraton Hotel 'drivers village', Abuja, Nigeria

9°03.69'N 7°29.06'W. Miles today 35, Total Miles 9825

Up early to investigate the location of the Angolan embassy and after 75 min and endless "you just go straight, don't go left, don't make a right, just go straight", we eventually found it but alas, we were told to come back tomorrow. Visa applications are only on Mon, Wed and Fri. Drove around a bit more looking (unsuccessfully) for a working internet café. Stopped at the famous "Tantilizers" for some very bad but cheap Nigerian fast food. Chilled out by the pool for the afternoon. Rob is looking painfully thin and has no energy. Made a wholesome lentil and veg curry for dinner to lift the spirits. Hurrah, just like the old days in Mauritania.

Day 104, 14/3. Sheraton Hotel 'drivers village', Abuja, Nigeria

9°03.69'N 7°29.06'W. Miles today 31, Total Miles 9856

At the embassy by 9.30am only to be greeted by the most incompetent receptionist ever. We each needed two application forms but she was only prepared to give us one between us and told us to "go and make photocopies!" " But where?" I ask, trying to be nice. "Just go straight!" Aarrrrggghh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Found the photocopy place but ha haaaa, sorry, no electricity. We were then told to go the garage some distance away, as they always have power as they have a generator but when we got there, they had no diesel to run the generator for the electricity. (No diesel in a fuel station? I know…welcome to Nigeria!) Running outta time for our visa applications, we even offered them some of our diesel just to start the generator but it wasn't enough. Somehow remaining calm and actually finding this all very funny, we opted for the Hilton Hotel's business centre. Hurrah! 4 copies now in hand, we raced back to the embassy. Miss Personality seemed annoyed that we were back and reminded us that we better hurry as applications close in half an hour. She snatched our completed forms and then asked for photocopies (yes, photocopies!) of our passports. Hmmm, this would have been useful to know beforehand. Luckily, we had a whole stash of those. This annoyed her even more. Ha haaaaaa! She then put our applications in her draw, told us to sit down and she promptly went to sleep at her desk for 2 hours, stirring only occasionally to mumble something as she answered the phone. I asked her if there was a problem and received some muffled answer about the commissioner being in a meeting. Just before 2pm, there was a slight rumbling of action of sorts and she came back with our visas. Wow, Double entry, 30 day ones. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! And so, delighted, we went off in search of some provisions. Absolutely shocked at the prices and with both us close to tears in the Grand Square supermarket, we bought the absolute minimum and slumped back to the haven of the Sheraton pool. Oh yes, we also stopped by the market stalls in Area 1 but alas, apart from bread and eggs, there was no food today. Maybe tomorrow, they say. Rob managed to find some gearbox oil and spent the afternoon under the car getting dirty. Back at the pool and Tatjana and Michael have arrived. They had great fun in Niger but did have a few problems getting into Nigeria, as their visas had expired. Somehow, they managed to sweet talk their way in. Back to Mr. Biggs for more spicy chicken and jollof. Delicious.

Day 105, 15/3. Sheraton Hotel 'drivers village', Abuja, Nigeria

9°03.69'N 7°29.06'W. Miles today 0, Total Miles 9856

Have instructed Rob that he is to do nothing today. We all took a rest day by the pool and then discovered Happy Hour in the bar. Hurrah, drinks for normal prices. Sat chatting to a Nigerian guy (whose name escapes me now but I do remember that it meant "the heart of the crown") and tried to put Nigeria's problems to right.

Day 106, 16/3. Sheraton Hotel 'drivers village', Abuja, Nigeria

9°03.69'N 7°29.06'W. Miles today 15, Total Miles 9871

Same scenario for Tatjana and Michael on their quest for their Angolan visas, only this time they did have electricity. Spent the day doing chores and cleaning and sorting the landy. Rob changed the tyres around for even wear and changed the engine oil and happily got himself even more dirty. Changed some more money on the black market with the Muslim guys outside the hotel and bought some good salad stuff at the small market near the Angolan embassy. Decided to celebrate our visa success by more happy hour beer and tucking into the full buffet in the hotel restaurant. With full tummies, we went to bed on the decision to stay one more day in this haven, as Tatjana and Michael don't quite feel ready to move. Fine by me.

Day 107, 17/3. Sheraton Hotel 'drivers village', Abuja, Nigeria

9°03.69'N 7°29.06'W. Miles today 0, Total Miles 9871

More chilling by the pool. Have resorted to buying cheap cokes at the staff entrance and then asking the pool bar for a glass with ice. Well, it's 40c as opposed to €4. Have decided to bushcamp somewhere tomorrow night and then stop at the Obundu Cattle Ranch before heading down to Calabar, where we need to get our visas for Cameroon. Bought some delicious suya (meat kebabs) from across the road for dinner, just wrapped up in some newspaper with an ice cold beer at the back of the landy. Life doesn't get better than this.

Day 108, 18/3. Lisbon Hotel, Ikom, Nigeria

5°57.62'N 8°43.58'W. Miles today 325, Total Miles 10196

Drove around the whole of Abuja looking for diesel and eventually found some outside of town at what appeared to be a dodgy fuel station. Always trust your instincts, as it turned out later, we realised that we were all cheated. He never turned the pump to zero! And so we headed off on a superb road and the going was good, so decided to skip the bush camp and head straight to the Ranch. Well, guess what? We got lost on some now very bad roads. Something to do with "you just go straight." It was getting dark and bush camping was so outta the question, as we were in a very busy populated area. We made the hard decision of skipping the Ranch altogether and headed for the town of Ikom in the dark. Found ourselves at the Lisbon Hotel, where the manager very kindly let us camp for free. They had a bar so at least we could have a cold beer and a coke but alas, no electricity so had to settle for a warm beer. Just as well there was no light, as the toilet was the scariest I have seen so far! With all of us hot and weary, we flopped into bed.

Day 109, 19/3. Paradise Hotel, Calabar, Nigeria

4°58.85'N 8°20.35'W. Miles today 132, Total Miles 10328

Woken at 5am by the entire guest compliment of Hotel Lisbon loading up three minibuses right next to our tents. No rest for us, so were off early on the now good road to Calabar. This saw us arriving at the Cameroon Embassy early enough to get our visas sorted. No problems, only we had to write a letter requesting the visa before they would give us the application forms. They also asked for a photocopy of our insurance, which involved a short hop next door but surprise surprise, no electricity. However, the internet centre over the road had a generator (with diesel!) so all was not lost. Two hours and 100 US $ later, we had our visas. We needed a place to sleep for the night and negotiated a silly price with the manager of the so far from "Paradise Hotel" for camping with no loo or shower, so headed next door to Frankies Bar and restaurant for a beer and very clean toilet stop. Simple rice pilaf for dinner and off to la-la land.

Day 110, 20/3. Nigeria-Cameroon border, Ekang

5°40.64'N 8°50.65'W. Miles today ?, Total Miles ???

I don't feel ready to leave Nigeria, as have thoroughly enjoyed it. Sure, the roads are bad and the driving scary and the endless horn honking drives you crazy but the people have been exceptionally welcoming towards us and seemed honoured to have us in their country. The scenery is awesome and there is so much that we never got to see but we need to move on and get through Cameroon before the rains hit. Nigeria really has such a bad reputation for bandits and thieves but never once did we feel threatened. Sure, they rip you off occasionally and the endless power cuts are tiresome but that's Africa. Perhaps we would have had a different experience had we gone south. Changed some more money on the black market opposite the mosque and started the endless search for diesel.
"Do you have diesel? "
"What?"
"Diesel, do you have diesel?"
"What?"
"Diesel? You have? "
"Yes!"
"Yes, cool, how much?"
"70 Naira"
"Wow, that's a good price. Where is the pump?"
"Here"
"No, that's petrol, we need diesel"
"Oh no, NO diesel"
Eventually got lucky on the alternative road out of town. The main bridge was broken so we had to take a small detour. Also managed to find some sliced bread that wasn't sweet. Hard to come by in Nigeria. The road started off well but soon deteriorated rapidly from enormous potholes in the tarmac to deep ruts in the dusty tracks. More inshallah navigation, as we were trying to get to Ekong which sounds remarkably similar to Ikang in the opposite direction.
"Excuse me, is the road to Ekong?"
"Yes, you just go straight to Ikang"
" No, you see, we need to get to Ekang, you know, by the border to Cameroon"
" Yes, no problem, you just go straight. Ikang, this way" Africccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! No problems for us at the border, except that we were hoping to use the last of our Naira to top up with diesel but there is very little there apart from a few shacks selling biscuits and milk powder. Let's just say, we now have a lot of biscuits. Just through the gate and over the bridge and we can see Cameroon. Hurrah, it's not raining...yet!

Day 100-110

10th -20th March 2007, Nigeria